Am I in trouble?

Time flies....we are only 2 months away from 2011...
I can still recall the time when we just step into 2010...it was just like yesterday...

October was worth documented, no matter how bad that month went but 1 weekend was more than sufficient to cover all the downs. Although the final week of October was difficult but it can be written off.

November so far has been a turmoil. I guess when you are not too happy, you tend to start to think negatively, whatever that pops into your mind will turn negative. Family, relationship, work, self, everything seems to be so out of place. I started to question myself if this is my self doing. At some point, I kinda hated myself. This is so scary, to me. To some, you might think that this is normal. But to those that knows me, I am not like this. The happy me seems to have lost its way. Rather emotional lately and this has impacted my work.

This afternoon during lunch, I was not able to breath in the office, I needed to be out of the office, I needed to breath fresh air, I needed to be alone, I needed my own space. I finally found a friend to accompany me for lunch, I did not want to talk neither to be bothered but just needed a friend to seat with me. What is wrong with me? sigh....should I start to feel worried?

I am trying very hard to step out from where I am now but I cant do it....something is not right...and the frustrating part is I do not know what is wrong. What should I do? What should I do? Can someone please tell me?